So a couple of
days ago I noticed that I was getting sick. 'Goddammit!' I thought
to myself, 'I cant afford to get sick again.' it all started with a
sore back. Not the whole back mind you. Just about where your
heart is suppose to be and in the back, one sore spot about the size
of my fist.
I had spent
the weekend in a Mine Craft binge. 'Jesus Christ!' When I go on a
gaming binge, I go all out. 12-16 hours? No problem. Sitting in my
computer chair with horrible gaming posture, ya I was fucked from the
get go. I started with a hole in a hill, and when I quit I had a
vicious mine, A perfect farming technique, an awesome home with
plenty of storage and room to grow. When I finally went to bed I was
tired. I stayed up on Sierra Mist, cheese quesadillas and the pure
drive to have some fun.
I woke the
next day with a back so sore that it all most hurt too much to
breathe deep. I am not a fan of this! I dealt with it with 2
Ibuprofen. It was still there the next day so I dealt with it now
with 4 ibuprofen. I was going to knock this son of a bitch out. I
got to work and my friend told me “Its from sitting at your
computer like this.” He slumped his body like a hunchback at a
computer. My thought of someone entering troll-mode. “You need
to stretch.” he said. But of-course! He was right goddammit. I
got home and stretched that fucker right out. It felt instantly
better after that. I sat down at my computer and I started to feel
something in my back. I thought 'Not this time you son of a bitch'
and wrenched my self in-to better posture.
The next day I
woke with a slight sore throat. 'I must have slept with my mouth
wide the fuck open again. I should take some Zycam just in case...
Fuck-it, I don't need no Zycam!' I went along with my day. I
noticed that it did not go away so I took yet again more ibuprofen.
'fuck you sore throat!' I thought. The next day I woke with a worse
sore thought and a voice that was working the lower register. 'If
only my voice could stay deep like this, I wouldn't sound like a
little fucking nerd.'
I went to work
and my voice got worse and worse. 'Jesus! If I lost my voice
entirely! What a joy that would be. My mind is expressed with my
hands and my heart with my voice. I am too fucking lazy to type all
the time so if someone asked me something they would have to submit
it through email. I would get to it at my leisure. I would not
learn sign language. Fuck that. I could just imagine walking up to
some one signing my intentions and them thinking 'What the fuck is
this guys problem? His hands! He has lost control of his fucking
hands, a donkey raping an owl... WTF!' I would get shot. I would
just carry business cards that said “I am mute”.
I got home and
I realized I should have taken the fucking Zycam. 'Dammit! Well
it's too late now and there is no use in bitching about it.' I went
to my den and crashed on my couch so I would not infect my family.
'Fat chance!' I woke up the next morning and felt like shit. I was
hacking up shit that should be clear to a healthy person. 'Well
Asshole your officially sick! You should call in to work and tell
them you ain't coming in.' “What the fuck man” I tried to say.
What came out was something like “ hhhhhhhht the fuuuuuu aaaaaaaaa”
My voice was mostly gone. 'There better be fuckin coffee' I
thought. I went to the kitchen and sure enough there was 6 cups of
freshly brewed Colombian Supremo. I poured my self a cup, sat down
and thought.
'Well I'm sick
again, time to start the routine of vicious hand washing and purging
the lungs of crap.' Luckily I could feel that this would be a
relatively easy one to pass, but I still was not a fan. 'Son of a
bitch.' I thought, 'here we go!' I took another sip of my coffee and
looked forward...
